Small Soldiers Quotes

Small Soldiers is a television program that appeared on TV in 1970 . Small Soldiers stopped airing in 1970.

It features Michael Finnell as producer, Jerry Goldsmith in charge of musical score, and Jamie Anderson as head of cinematography.

Small Soldiers is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Small Soldiers is 108 minutes long. Small Soldiers is distributed by DreamWorks.

The cast includes: David Cross as Irwin Wayfair, Jay Mohr as Larry Benson, Phil Hartman as Phil Fimple, Gregory Smith as Alan, Kirsten Dunst as Christy Fimple, Denis Leary as Gil Mars, Dick Miller as Joe, Kevin Dunn as Stuart Abernathy, Jacob Smith as Timmy Fimple, and Jonathan Bouck as Brad.

Small Soldiers Quotes

Phil Hartman as Phil Fimple

• (Phil Hartman) "I think World War II was my favorite war."

Denis Leary as Gil Mars

• (Denis Leary) "What are you worried about? They're only toys --"

• (Denis Leary) "Now these guys are soldiers, right? And what do soldiers need?"
• (David Cross) "Hats?"

• (Denis Leary) "Excuse me, did you say "learn"?"
• (David Cross) "Learn, learn -- yeah"
• (Denis Leary) "-- Next."

Jay Mohr as Larry Benson

• (Jay Mohr) "Great. All we need now is a nuclear warhead."
• (David Cross) "l doubt l'll have one in the junk drawer."
• (Phil Hartman) "Nuclear warhead? What are you talking about?"
• (Jay Mohr) "The chips aren't shielded against an EMP. A nuclear blast would wipe them out."
• (David Cross) "That's why the military never used them."
• (Kevin Dunn) "What kind of moron would put military technology in toys?"
• (David Cross) "Well that would be Gizmo over here."

Kirsten Dunst as Christy Fimple

• (Kirsten Dunst) "Sixteen? Where'd they get sixteen from?"
• (David Cross) "Seven Gorgonites and nine people"

• (Kirsten Dunst) "You rescued me."
• (Gregory Smith) "Anytime"
• (Kirsten Dunst) "Lets go get those creeps."

• (Kirsten Dunst) "Any sign of the Gorgonites?"
• (Gregory Smith) "No, none of them."
• (Phil Hartman) "Come on Christy."
• (Kirsten Dunst) "I gotta go."
• (Denis Leary) "Too bad, would've made a hell of a commercial."

David Cross as Irwin Wayfair

• (David Cross) "We can't have toys out on the market that may be dangerous."
• (Jay Mohr) "How can they be dangerous? Everything on them is standard. The design is standard, the materials are standard -- The mechanicals are standard. Even the -- Oh."
• (David Cross) "What's "Oh"?"
• (Jay Mohr) "What?"
• (David Cross) "You just said "Oh.""
• (Jay Mohr) "No, l said "Oh.""
• (David Cross) ""Oh" like "Something interesting" or "We're screwed"?"
• (Jay Mohr) "No. l mean, hey, whoa, oh -- Forget the "Oh". l'll go to legal to start on the countersuit."
• (David Cross) "The chips. That's the "Oh.". These microprocessing chips. What do they do and where did you get them from?"
• (Jay Mohr) "They microprocess. And they come from the land of l Saved Your Job."
• (David Cross) "They were designed for the Defense Department. You put munitions chips in toys?"

• (David Cross) "He's here. He's early. He's not supposed to be here now. He said -- okay, here's the copy of -- check."
• (Jay Mohr) "Pretty exciting, huh?"
• (David Cross) "I don't know. I think it's kinda sad, I mean you know Heartland Toys has a long tradition of bringing joy to kids, ya know? Gil Mars isn't going to care about any of that. He's just gonna care about profits. I think it sucks."
• (Jay Mohr) "Welcome to Earth, Irwin. You may not be familiar with our company, but this is pretty much the way things work down here in the real world."
• (David Cross) "Yeah, well the real world sucks."

Gregory Smith as Alan

• (Gregory Smith) "Damn potholes."

• (Gregory Smith) "What are you looking for?"
• (Freakenstein) "Gorgon."
• (Gregory Smith) "Well, this is a Central Park."
• (Freakenstein) "The Isle of Gorgon is our homeland."
• (Punch-It) "Will you help us find it?"
• (Gregory Smith) "I don't think you're gonna find it in here."
• (Archer) "Alan, if Gorgon is not in that window, is it in this one?"

• (Archer) "Major Chip Hazard."
• (Major Chip Hazard) "Gorgonite scum."
• (Archer) "Leave Alan alone. Your fight is with me."
• (Major Chip Hazard) "You've got a lot of guts. Let's see what they look like."
• (Archer) "They're wires and metal, the same as yours."
• (Major Chip Hazard) "We're nothing alike. You are programmed to lose."
• (Archer) "I'm also programmed to learn."
• (Major Chip Hazard) "Too bad you never learned to win. School's out, loser. Hyah."
• (Major Chip Hazard) "Victory is ours."
• (Gregory Smith) "Have I got a shock for you."
• (Gregory Smith) "You stupid toy."

• (Archer) "Alan, friend of Archer, defender of all Gorgonites, Keeper of Encarta --"
• (Gregory Smith) ""Keeper of Encarta"? You were using my computer? If I find a virus in there you're headed for the microwave."

Jacob Smith as Timmy Fimple

• (Jacob Smith) "So when am I going to get the Major Chip Hazard figure?"
• (Kirsten Dunst) "Never, if you don't shut up."

Jonathan Bouck as Brad

• (Major Chip Hazard) "Yo maggot. An officer and a gentlemen does not strike a lady."
• (Jonathan Bouck) "What?"

Kevin Dunn as Stuart Abernathy

• (Kevin Dunn) "I'm gonna find a way to stop these guys before my wife gets tennis elbow."

Dick Miller as Joe

• (Dick Miller) "So what's the seminar your dad's goin' to?"
• (Gregory Smith) ""How to Make a Success of Your Small Buisness." My suggestion was torch the place."
• (Dick Miller) "Not a good idea. Arson forensics nowadays is very sophisticated."

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