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The Return of the Living Dead Quotes

The Return of the Living Dead is a television program that appeared on TV in 1970 . The Return of the Living Dead ended in 1970.

It features Tom Fox, and Graham Henderson as producer, Matt Clifford, and Francis Haines in charge of musical score, and Jules Brenner as head of cinematography.

The Return of the Living Dead is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of The Return of the Living Dead is 91 minutes long. The Return of the Living Dead is distributed by Orion Pictures.

The cast includes: Terrence Houlihan as Zombie, Mark Venturini as Suicide, Linnea Quigley as Trash, Miguel A. Núñez Jr. as Spider, John Philbin as Chuck, Don Calfa as Ernie Kaltenbrunner, Clu Gulager as Burt Wilson, James Karen as Frank, Thom Mathews as Freddy, Jewel Shepard as Casey, Drew Deighan as Paramedic #1, Drew Deighan as Paramedic #2, Jonathan Terry as Ethel Glover, Allan Trautman as Tarman, Beverly Randolph as Tina, and Brian Peck as Scuz.

The Return of the Living Dead Quotes

James Karen as Frank

  • (James Karen) "The army came in and closed it all off."
  • (Thom Mathews) "So how come you know about it?"
  • (James Karen) "A typical army f*** up, the transportation department got the orders crossed. They sent those bodies here."
  • (James Karen) "International treaty, all skeletons come from India."
  • (Thom Mathews) "No kidding, how come?"
  • (James Karen) "How the hell do I know how come? The important question is, where do they get all the skeletons with perfect teeth?"
  • (James Karen) "Some big favor. I can operate that god**** thing."
  • (James Karen) "Let me ask you a question, kid: did you ever see that movie, "Night of the Living Dead"?"
  • (Thom Mathews) "Yeah, yeah, yeah; that's the one where the corpses start eating the people, right? What about it?"
  • (James Karen) "Did you know that story was based on a true case?"
  • (Thom Mathews) "Aw, c'mon, you're s***ting me, right?"
  • (James Karen) "I ain't never been more serious in my life."

Thom Mathews as Freddy

  • (Thom Mathews) "Frank?"
  • (James Karen) "Yeah, kid?"
  • (Thom Mathews) "What's the weirdest thing you ever saw in here?"
  • (James Karen) "Oh, kid, I have seen weird things come and I have seen weird things go. But the weirdest thing I ever saw just had to cap it all."
  • (Thom Mathews) "Oh, yeah? What's that?"
  • (James Karen) "Let me ask you a question, kid. Did you see that movie, "Night of the Living Dead"?"
  • (Thom Mathews) "Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the one where the corpses start eating the people, right? Sure. Wh-what about it?"
  • (James Karen) "Did you know that movie was based on a true case?"
  • (Thom Mathews) "Come on, you're s***ting me, right?"
  • (James Karen) "I've never been more serious in my life."
  • (Thom Mathews) "That's not possible. I mean, they showed zombies taking over the world."
  • (James Karen) "They changed it all around. What really happened was back in 1969, in Pittsburgh, at the V.A. hospital, there was a chemical spill and all that stuff kinda leaked down into the morgue and it made all the dead bodies kinda jump around as though it was alive."
  • (Thom Mathews) "What chemical?"
  • (James Karen) "2-4-5 Trioxin, it's called. It was to kinda spray on marijuana or something. And the Darrow Chemical Company was trying to develop it for the Army. And they told the guy who made the movie that if he told the true story, they'd just sue his ass off. So he changed all the facts around."
  • (Thom Mathews) "So what really happened?"
  • (James Karen) "Well, they closed it all down, see, and the Army shipped all that contaminated dirt and all those dead bodies out. And they kept it a secret."
  • (Thom Mathews) "So how come you know about it?"
  • (James Karen) "A typical Army f*** up. The Transportation Department got the orders crossed, and they shipped those bodies here instead of to the Darrow Chemical Company."
  • (Thom Mathews) "Gee -- And now you made me hurt myself again. You made me break my hand completely off this time Tina. But I don't care Darlin', because I love you, and you've got to let me EAT YOUR BRAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIINS. WHERE ARE YOU."
  • (Thom Mathews) "Tian, it was wrong of you to lock me up. I had to hurt myself to get out. But I forgive you darlin' and I know you're here, because I can smell your brains."
  • (Thom Mathews) "Go away."
  • (Thom Mathews) "I'm comming up tian."
  • (Thom Mathews) "Oh s***, look at that. You say that thing was alive?"
  • (James Karen) "So they say."
  • (Thom Mathews) "Oh god. Hey, these things don't leak, do they?"
  • (James Karen) "Leak? Hell no. These things were made by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers."
  • (James Karen) "Oh f***."
  • (Thom Mathews) "What do doctors use to crack skulls with?"
  • (James Karen) "Surgical drills."

Miguel A. Núñez Jr. as Spider

  • (Miguel A. Núñez Jr.) "Man, what a hideous, ugly place."
  • (Linnea Quigley) "I like it. It's a statement."
  • (Miguel A. Núñez Jr.) "I ain't in no mood to die tonight."
  • (Miguel A. Núñez Jr.) "What do you want to do, Scuz, turn over gravestones?"
  • (Brian Peck) "No, I just want to look around the graveyard; I never seen one before."
  • (Miguel A. Núñez Jr.) "Haven't you ever been to a funeral?"
  • (Brian Peck) "I never knew anyone that died."

Allan Trautman as Tarman

  • (Allan Trautman) "BRAINS. Live brains."

Clu Gulager as Burt Wilson

  • (Clu Gulager) "One question, Frank: this guy screaming in here -- you're sure he's a dead cadaver?"
  • (James Karen) "Why don't you open the door and find out."
  • (Clu Gulager) "Uh -- no, that's allright Frank, I'll take your word for that."
  • (Clu Gulager) "You did what? You opened it? You stupid moron. You idiot. What's the matter with you Frank? Haven't I already told you never to even go near those god**** tanks?"
  • (James Karen) "What are we gonna do, Burt?"
  • (Clu Gulager) "I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to be sued by the Darrow Chemical Company. I might even be investigated by the government. I might become very famous. I might even lose my business. I might even go to jail, god**** it. That's what I'm going to do."
  • (Clu Gulager) "If that is a re-animated body, we're gonna have to kill it."
  • (Thom Mathews) "How do you kill something that's already dead?"
  • (Clu Gulager) "How do I know, Fred? Let me think."
  • (James Karen) "It's not a bad question, Burt."
  • (Clu Gulager) "What about the bones Ernie?"
  • (Don Calfa) "Bones are no problem. Hardest thing to burn is the heart."
  • (Clu Gulager) "A heart, why?"
  • (Don Calfa) "'cause it's just one big tough muscle."
  • (Clu Gulager) "Yeah, but Ernie, I mean, c'mon, we don't want the heart sticking around."
  • (Don Calfa) "Then I'll turn it up hotter for the heart."
  • (Clu Gulager) "Put that gun away, Ernie. Before you shoot somebody."
  • (Clu Gulager) "Listen, there's a bunch of people from the cemetery who are stark, staring, mad, and they'll kill you and eat you if they catch you. It's like a disease. It's like rabies, only faster, a lot faster. That's why you've got to come and get us out of here now -- right now."
  • (Clu Gulager) "Hey, listen. You hear something?"
  • (Thom Mathews) "Tinaaaaaaaaa."
  • (Clu Gulager) "I thought you said if we destroyed the brain, it'd die."
  • (James Karen) "It worked in the movie."
  • (Clu Gulager) "Well, it ain't working now, Frank."
  • (Thom Mathews) "You mean the movie lied?"

Jewel Shepard as Casey

  • (Jewel Shepard) "Hey, is that Freddy?"
  • (John Philbin) "Where?"
  • (Jewel Shepard) "Over there, going into that building."
  • (John Philbin) "No. That is NOT Freddy."
  • (Jewel Shepard) "How would you know?"
  • (John Philbin) "Because, why would Freddy be going into a mortuary?"
  • (Jewel Shepard) "Well, look who it is. Your friend and mine."
  • (Mark Venturini) "Hey, f*** you, ballbuster."
  • (Jewel Shepard) "Chuck, I never did like you. Oh, but God, hold me tight."

Terrence Houlihan as Zombie

  • (Terrence Houlihan) "Send more cops."
  • (Terrence Houlihan) "Send -- more -- paramedics."

Mark Venturini as Suicide

  • (Mark Venturini) "You think this is a f***in' costume? This is a way of life."
  • (Mark Venturini) "How come you guys only come around when you need a ride someplace?"
  • (Miguel A. Núñez Jr.) "'Cause you're one spooky motherf***er, man."

Linnea Quigley as Trash

  • (Linnea Quigley) "Do you ever wonder about all the different ways of dying? You know, violently? And wonder, like, what would be the most horrible way to die?"
  • (Miguel A. Núñez Jr.) "I try not too think about dying too much."
  • (Linnea Quigley) "Mm. Well for me, the worst way would be for a bunch of old men to get around me, and start biting and eating me alive."
  • (Miguel A. Núñez Jr.) "I see."
  • (Linnea Quigley) "First, they would tear off my clothes --"
  • (John Philbin) "Hey, somebody get some light over here, Trash is taking off her clothes again."

Jonathan Terry as Ethel Glover

  • (Jonathan Terry) "Hello, dear. How was your day?"
  • (Col. Horace Glover) "The usual. Crap."
  • (Jonathan Terry) "Oh, I'm sorry."
  • (Col. Horace Glover) "What's for dinner?"
  • (Jonathan Terry) "Your favourite: lamb chops."
  • (Col. Horace Glover) "I had them for lunch."

Don Calfa as Ernie Kaltenbrunner

  • (Don Calfa) "Freeze or you're dead."
  • (Miguel A. Núñez Jr.) "Don't shoot, man."
  • (Don Calfa) "Are you crazy? Are you on PCP?"
  • (Miguel A. Núñez Jr.) "Nobody's on any drugs, man. Just let us in."
  • (Don Calfa) "You can hear me?"
  • (1/2 Woman Corpse) "Yes."
  • (Don Calfa) "Why do you eat people?"
  • (1/2 Woman Corpse) "Not people. Brains."
  • (Don Calfa) "Brains only?"
  • (1/2 Woman Corpse) "Yes."
  • (Don Calfa) "Why?"
  • (1/2 Woman Corpse) "The PAIN."
  • (Don Calfa) "What about the pain?"
  • (1/2 Woman Corpse) "The pain of being DEAD."
  • (Don Calfa) "It hurts -- to be dead."
  • (1/2 Woman Corpse) "I can feel myself rot."
  • (Don Calfa) "Eating brains -- How does that make you feel?"
  • (1/2 Woman Corpse) "It makes the pain, go away."
  • (Don Calfa) "What the hell are in those bags?"
  • (Clu Gulager) "Uh -- rabid weasels."
  • (Don Calfa) "What? What the hell are you doing with a bunch of rabid weasels?"
  • (Clu Gulager) "That's what I was trying to explain to you here, Ernie. They came in as part of a shipment. Of course, they weren't supposed to be rabid."
  • (Don Calfa) "What is that? What is that?"
  • (Miguel A. Núñez Jr.) "It's dead people screamin'."

Beverly Randolph as Tina

  • (Beverly Randolph) "Why don't we go to the park?"
  • (Brian Peck) "Oh we can't, the cops said they'd shoot us if we go back to the park."
  • (Miguel A. Núñez Jr.) "Yeah, and I ain't in no mood to die tonight."
  • (Linnea Quigley) "I like death."
  • (John Philbin) "I like death with sex. Casey, do you like sex with death?"
  • (Jewel Shepard) "Yeah so f*** off and die."
  • (Beverly Randolph) "What did you do to Freddy? What's wrong with him? Ask this man."
  • (Miguel A. Núñez Jr.) "You know, I think it's time you tell us what the f***'s going on."
  • (Clu Gulager) "I don't have to tell you anything, dick brain."
  • (Beverly Randolph) "Mister, they're out there and there's more of them in that warehouse on the other side of the graveyard."
  • (Clu Gulager) "Which warehouse?"
  • (Beverly Randolph) "The medical supply --"
  • (Clu Gulager) "Oh s***. s***. God damn."
  • (Don Calfa) "I think things are getting out of hand."
  • (Beverly Randolph) "Mister, there's a hundred of those things out there."
  • (Clu Gulager) "A hundred?"

John Philbin as Chuck

  • (John Philbin) "Hey, Casey, do you like sex with death?"
  • (Jewel Shepard) "Yeah, so f*** off and die."

Drew Deighan as Paramedic #1

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