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Cheaper by the Dozen (2003 film) Quotes

Cheaper by the Dozen (2003 film) is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . Cheaper by the Dozen stopped airing in 1970.

It features Robert Simonds; Michael Barnathan; Ben Myron as producer, Christophe Beck in charge of musical score, and Jonathan Brown as head of cinematography.

Cheaper by the Dozen (2003 film) is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of Cheaper by the Dozen (2003 film) is 98 minutes long. Cheaper by the Dozen (2003 film) is distributed by 20th Century Fox.

The cast includes: Steve Martin as Tom, Ashton Kutcher as Hank, Bonnie Hunt as Kate, Piper Perabo as Nora, Alyson Stoner as Sarah Baker, Bonnie Hunt as Kyle Baker, Hilary Duff as Lorraine, Tom Welling as Charlie, Jacob Smith as Jake, Blake Woodruff as Mike, Kevin Schmidt as Henry Baker, Blake Woodruff as Nigel Baker, Richard Jenkins as Shake, Paula Marshall as Tina Shenk, Hilary Duff as Lorraine Baker, Forrest Landis as Mark, Steve Martin as Kim Baker, Steven Anthony Lawrence as Dylan Shenk, and Bonnie Hunt as Kate Baker.

Cheaper by the Dozen (2003 film) Quotes

Steve Martin as Tom

  • (Steve Martin) "Get my kids and meet me at my house. Ready? Break."
  • (Steve Martin) "You were checking me out, weren't you?"
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "Yes, I was. You got a problem with that?"
  • (Steve Martin) "Twelve kids later and we still got the heat."
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "Whoo."
  • (Steve Martin) "All right. Enough is Enough. You're slacking on your chores. You're fighting in school. Things are out of control. As of this moment, you are all grounded"
  • (Blake Woodruff) "What's grounded?"
  • (Steve Martin) "What's grounded? I'll tell you what ground it is. Except for attending games, you go to school, you come home from school, you do your homework, you do your chores, you go to bed and that's it."
  • (Alyson Stoner) "But that"
  • (Steve Martin) "Oh yes Sarah, I know that sucks, but that's the way it is."
  • (Jacob Smith) "Does this mean we can't go to Dylan's birthday party?"
  • (Steve Martin) "That's exactly what it means."
  • (Steve Martin) "But we brought his presents already."
  • (Steve Martin) "You are going to miss it"
  • (Steve Martin) "Kids are quiet"
  • (Steve Martin) "Now, go to bed."
  • (Steve Martin) "Little Vampires, my plan worked. She's gone. Now I can raise you children the way I want to. Mwa ha ha, ha ha, ha."
  • (Steve Martin) "C'mon, it's going to be fun. Your dream has come true. Mom's gone. Weak old Dad is here. You can get away with murder. You can do anything you want. Dylan's birthday party is coming up. You can get all hyped up on sugar and cake and go crazy."
  • (Steve Martin) "She says she will help us out if they can stay in the same room."
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "No. No way. No, she knows the rules."
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "She wants to have her own room when she's here isn't that sweet,"
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "no."
  • (Steve Martin) "You have a dark gift, Sarah Baker."
  • (Steve Martin) "You know, for the entire minute and a half we lived here -- l really hated that chandelier."
  • (Steve Martin) "Ah -- Pasta de la croch."
  • (Jessica Baker) "Dad, can I kill Jake now?"
  • (Steve Martin) "No, finish washing the car first."
  • (Steve Martin) "Hey, guys. Remember Shake? We played college ball together."
  • (Blake Woodruff) "Yeah, the hot dog."
  • (Blake Woodruff) "Mom said it first."
  • (Richard Jenkins) "We're having adult time here, boys."
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "No idea what that means."
  • (Steve Martin) "Well, it's this crazy thing where grown-ups actually get to have a conversation without being interrupted by kids."
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "Sounds wicked boring."
  • (Richard Jenkins) "It is. So why don't you run along?"
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "Mom's right. He is a weiner."
  • (Steve Martin) "Hey Nigel. Wanna play darts?"
  • (Steve Martin) "I promise you. We will be a happier, stronger family."
  • (Steve Martin) "Clean up on aisle 12."
  • (Steve Martin) "So, Dylan, know any good restaurants?"
  • (Steve Martin) "Hello my name is Tom Baker and I am interested in hiring a domestic helper."
  • (Steve Martin) "I have twelve kids."
  • (Steve Martin) "Actually I am serious."
  • (Steve Martin) "Just twelve"
  • (Steve Martin) "There's only two, oh plus ten."
  • (Steve Martin) "How many kids? Well, uh, when you get here we can just count 'em up."
  • (Steve Martin) "Well, there's twelve. But one doesn't live with me and one you never see cause he's so mad."
  • (Steve Martin) "Uh, a dozen."
  • (Steve Martin) "Just, just twelve."
  • (Steve Martin) "Hello, I'll just hang up by myself."

Piper Perabo as Nora

  • (Piper Perabo) "Oh honey, there just welcoming you into the family."
  • (Ashton Kutcher) "They set me on fire."
  • (Piper Perabo) "Just your pants."

Ashton Kutcher as Hank

  • (Ashton Kutcher) "This is the moneymaker. I'm not that good of an actor. This is how I get the jobs, I know that."
  • (Ashton Kutcher) "It's gettin' so as I can hardly go out in public any more. I mean, really, between the autograph hounds and the paparazzi --"
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "Autographs and everything? I mean, just the one commercial, and you have paparazzi?"
  • (Ashton Kutcher) "Yeah. I've never actually seen them, but, you know, they hide in the bush and -- they get their shot."
  • (Ashton Kutcher) "Twelve kids -- that's nuts."
  • (Ashton Kutcher) "So, you guys popping another one anytime soon?"
  • (Ashton Kutcher) "Curiosity."
  • (Ashton Kutcher) "All I'm saying is families are inevitable they're like death or taxes."

Alyson Stoner as Sarah Baker

  • (Alyson Stoner) "Does anyone besides me think our "happier and stronger" life, is actually code for "nastier and suckier"?"
  • (Blake Woodruff) "First dad forces us to move"
  • (Jacob Smith) "Then mom decides to become a career women and like, travel the globe"
  • (Jessica Baker) "And now, we have to take orders from Hank, the model/actor."
  • (Forrest Landis) "And he hates kids too."
  • (Alyson Stoner) "Classic."
  • (Alyson Stoner) "Great. In Midland we were a Family. Now were a support system?"
  • (Hilary Duff) "A Family is a Support System, Butch"
  • (Alyson Stoner) "Release the hound."

Blake Woodruff as Nigel Baker

  • (Blake Woodruff) "We're gonna move."
  • (Blake Woodruff) "Ahhhh."

Hilary Duff as Lorraine

  • (Hilary Duff) "Black works Mom. Jesus like had his funeral on Christmas."
  • (Kevin Schmidt) "He died on Easter, Barbie."
  • (Jessica Baker) "He was resurrected on Easter, moron."
  • (Hilary Duff) "Are you sure we're going to fit in here, dad?"
  • (Hilary Duff) "For the record, I am so over Nora's hand-me-downs."
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "All right. You look gorgeous in anything, Lorraine."
  • (Hilary Duff) "I am totally aware that this family doesn't value self-presentation in the same obsessive way that I do. Fine. Whatever. But one of my life goals aside from being, like, a fashion guru is to indicate to the local community that the Baker family actually owns a bar of soap. So, as self-appointed in-house rep of style and hygiene, I think that I should be allotted at least five extra minutes in front of the mirror."
  • (Steve Martin) "Three."
  • (Hilary Duff) "Done."
  • (Steve Martin) "Good now help your sister butter the toast."

Bonnie Hunt as Kyle Baker

  • (Bonnie Hunt) "I guess you could say that when Tom and I left Midland we had a mess of theories about how to raise children. We still have a mess of children, but no theories. Sure, 12 is still our number. It's the number of months my book was on the bestseller list. It's the number of job offers Tom turned down before we found one close to home. And each day it's the number of times I'm thankful there's such a thing as family."
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "Nora, sweetie, want to help me in the kitchen?"
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "NORA, STOP."
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "Yeah, uh huh."
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "Wanna help me in the kitchen? Get a pie, look at a picture of Grandma, say the rosary. Come on, kids. Here we go. Everybody out."
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "He's not a doorknob."
  • (Jacob Smith) "He irons his jeans, Mom."
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "Yeah that's weird."
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "Look alive."
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "Like you said, twelve's a big number --"
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "You need a paramedic?"
  • (Steve Martin) "No, just a pair o' knees."
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "Okay, I'll stay a few extra days, but call me if anything's wrong. The house blows up, the kids stage a coup, I'm home."
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "My book's getting published."
  • (Steve Martin) "Did I tell you we're going to have it all?"
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "You've never said that."
  • (Steve Martin) "I'm telling you now, baby."
  • (Hilary Duff) "Oh my god, can you guys just please wait till I leave the room?"
  • (Steve Martin) "Can you hurry?"
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "Sarah, your suspension from lacrosse for excessive force has been lifted, so you're going today."
  • (Alyson Stoner) "Yes."
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "Henry, you have band practice, all right? I cleaned your clarinet. Please don't play with food in your mouth again. Kim and Jessica, your teacher called and has made a request that you do not correct her in front of the class. Mike, you have show-and-tell today. And please, honey, remember that body parts do not count. Kyle and Nigel, you have a dentist's appointment at three o'clock, so you're going to work with Dad."
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "Yeah."

Jacob Smith as Jake

  • (Jacob Smith) "Yeah, without you, we wouldn't be the twelve Bakers anymore. We'd be,"
  • (Jacob Smith) "eleven."
  • (Jacob Smith) "Dude, two words: need new skates."
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "Dude, three words: paper route."
  • (Jacob Smith) "Want to play catch with the football I got you?"
  • (Steven Anthony Lawrence) "My nanny'd have to check with my dad who'd have to check with my mom who'd say it was an inappropriate use of free time."
  • (Jacob Smith) "Sounds like a "yes" to me. Go get it Mikey."

Tom Welling as Charlie

  • (Tom Welling) "Did I mention I don't like you very much?"
  • (Steve Martin) "Yeah, you mentioned that."
  • (Tom Welling) "Then I'm good."

Richard Jenkins as Shake

(We don't have any quotes for this character)

Paula Marshall as Tina Shenk

  • (Paula Marshall) "Is Jake your only child?"
  • (Bonnie Hunt) "Oh no. We have 12."
  • (Steve Martin) "I couldn't keep her off of me."

Forrest Landis as Mark

  • (Forrest Landis) "Mom, Beans is dead."
  • (Alyson Stoner) "Nobody cares about your stupid frog right now, FedEx, OK?"
  • (Forrest Landis) "Stop calling me that."

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