Designing Women Quotes

''Designing Women is a television program that was first aired in 1986 on CBS. Designing Women stopped airing in 1993.

''Designing Women aired for 7 seasons and 163 episodes. ''Designing Women is created by Linda Bloodworth-Thomason.

''Designing Women is recorded in English and originally aired in United States. Each episode of ''Designing Women is 25 minutes long. ''Designing Women is produced by Bloodworth/Thomason Mozark Productions and distributed by Columbia Pictures Television. Spinoffs for this show include Women of the House (1995).

The cast includes: Dixie Carter as Julia, Jean Smart as Charlene, Delta Burke as Suzanne, Alice Ghostley as Bernice, Jan Hooks as Carlene Frazier Dobber, Julia Duffy as Allison, Annie Potts as Mary Jo Shively, Meshach Taylor as Anthony, Annie Potts as Mary Jo, and Judith Ivey as Bonnie Jean 'B.J.' Poteet.

''Designing Women Quotes

Annie Potts as Mary Jo

• (Annie Potts) "And why do you know all the capitols of every country, Charlene?"
• (Jean Smart) "Because, Mary Jo, I love knowledge. As a matter of fact, I yearn for it."

• (James Dean 'J.D.' Shackelford) "You look so beautiful."
• (Annie Potts) "Where do you want to do this: upstairs or downstairs?"
• (James Dean 'J.D.' Shackelford) "Honey, I thought we would have some wine and music, then a littlle foreplay --"
• (Annie Potts) "I was too embarassed to tell you --"
• (James Dean 'J.D.' Shackelford) "Tell me what?"
• (Annie Potts) "I have never had sex with anyone but Ted."
• (James Dean 'J.D.' Shackelford) "You haven't?"
• (Annie Potts) "And I do not know anything about anyone else. I mean, Ted's idea of foreplay was holding me by the feet and saying, "Make a wish.""

• (Annie Potts) "You know, Allison kind of reminds you of an elf; a mean, vicious little elf."

• (Annie Potts) "Anthony, where have you been all morning?"
• (Meshach Taylor) "The question should be, "Where have I been all night?" I'll tell you where I've been. I was locked in the basement of Suzanne's house."
• (Julia Duffy) "Oh, were you locked in there? I thought I heard something."
• (Meshach Taylor) "Did it sound anything like someone shouting "Let me out of here, bitch."?"

• (Annie Potts) "We think that your friend, Monette might be practicing the oldest profession."
• (Jean Smart) "You think that Monette is a carpenter?"

Delta Burke as Suzanne

• (Delta Burke) "Those are all my cosmetic bags."
• (Reese Watson) "No-one's that ugly."

• (Delta Burke) "Where are our seats?"
• (Dixie Carter) "I don't know. If history teaches us anything, mine will be next to a baby who smokes."

• (Delta Burke) "She said it was a gag gift."
• (Dixie Carter) "Well, it certainly made me gag."

• (Delta Burke) "And I'll tell you something else. I am not eating octopus, walking around in my stocking feet, or takin' a bath with my neighbors no matter what those little people say."
• (Dixie Carter) "It's always stimulating to travel with the international voice of racism."

• (Delta Burke) "I never use catalogs. I'd rather go in the store and see all the salespeople groveling and sucking up to you."
• (Dixie Carter) "Pardon me, I never knew they were so solicitous at the K-Mart."

• (Unnamed) "50 animals died because of that coat."
• (Delta Burke) "Wanna make it 51?"

• (Delta Burke) "She's not only old, she's stupid."

• (Delta Burke) "I got pulled over this morning for having all the mirrors in the Mercedes turned so I could see myself."

Jan Hooks as Carlene Frazier Dobber

• (Jan Hooks) "You know, Allison, you remind me of someone I saw on the Discovery Channel last night."
• (Julia Duffy) "And who might that be, Carlene?"
• (Jan Hooks) "Adolf Hitler."

Julia Duffy as Allison

• (Julia Duffy) "Oh forget it, I'm not doing this anymore."
• (Meshach Taylor) "Well then just go ahead and leave."
• (Julia Duffy) "You know very well I can't leave. Possession is 9/10 of the law if I leave, I don't have any chance of getting back into this house -- but you are not driving me out of here, I don't care what you do to me."
• (Julia Duffy) "Well, I hope you're happy with yourself. Torturing me like this."
• (Meshach Taylor) "Oh now, don't start this, now you know that if you had just stayed in the guest room instead of trying to take over the whole house, it wouldn't have gotten this far."
• (Julia Duffy) "My tears don't mean anything to you, do they?"
• (Meshach Taylor) "Uh-uh."
• (Julia Duffy) "OK, let's move along to credit then."

Dixie Carter as Julia

• (Dixie Carter) "Yesterday, in my mind's eye, I saw four women standing on a veranda in white, gauzy dresses and straw-colored hats. They were having a conversation. And it was hot. Their hankies tucked in cleavages where eternal trickles of perspiration run from the female breastbone to exotic vacation spots that southern men often dream about. They were sweet-smelling, coy, cunning, voluptuous, voracious, delicious, pernicious, vexing and sexing -- these earth sister/rebel mothers -- these arousers and carousers. And I was filled with a longing to join them. But like a whim of Scarlett's, they turned suddenly and went inside, shutting me out with a bolt of a latch. And I was left only to pick up an abandoned handkerchief and savor the perfumed shadows of these women -- these southern women. This Suzanne. This Julia. This Mary Jo and Charlene. Thanks for the comfort, Dash Goff -- the writer."

• (Dixie Carter) "Have you all just COMPLETELY lost your minds?"

• (Dixie Carter) "What exactly are they supposed to do, wait for a wing to fall off and count the rings?"

• (Dixie Carter) "Excuse me, aren't you Marjorie Leigh Winnick, the current Miss Georgia World?"
• (Unnamed) "Why, yes I am."
• (Dixie Carter) "I'm Julia Sugarbaker, Suzanne Sugarbaker's sister. I couldn't help over hearing part of your conversation."
• (Unnamed) "Well, I'm sorry. I didn't know anyone was here."
• (Dixie Carter) "Yes, and I gather from your comments there are a couple of other things you don't know, Marjorie. For example, you probably didn't know that Suzanne was the only contestant in Georgia pageant history to sweep every category except congeniality, and that is not something the women in my family aspire to anyway. Or that when she walked down the runway in her swimsuit, five contestants quit on the spot. Or that when she emerged from the isolation booth to answer the question, "What would you do to prevent war?" she spoke so eloquently of patriotism, battlefields and diamond tiaras, grown men wept. And you probably didn't know, Marjorie, that Suzanne was not just any Miss Georgia, she was the Miss Georgia. She didn't twirl just a baton, that baton was on fire. And when she threw that baton into the air, it flew higher, further, faster than any baton has ever flown before, hitting a transformer and showering the darkened arena with sparks. And when it finally did come down, Marjorie, my sister caught that baton, and 12,000 people jumped to their feet for sixteen and one-half minutes of uninterrupted thunderous ovation, as flames illuminated her tear-stained face. And that, Marjorie; just so you will know; and your children will someday know; is the night the lights went out in Georgia."

• (Dixie Carter) "I'm saying I want you and your equipment out of here now. If you are looking for somebody to suck pearls, then I suggest you try finding yourself an oyster. Because I am not a woman who does that, as a matter of fact, I don't know any woman who does that, because it's stupid. And it doesn't have any more to do with decorating than having cleavage and looking sexy has to do with working in a bank. These are not pictures about the women of Atlanta. These are about just the same thing they're always about. And it doesn't matter whether the clothes are on or off -- it's just the same ol' message. And I don't care how many pictures you've taken of movie stars; when you start snapping photos of serious, successful businessmen like Donald Trump and Lee Iacocca in unzipped jumpsuits with wet lips, straddling chairs, then we'll talk."

• (Dixie Carter) "I think you should tell them to take their invitation, fold it in five corners, and stick it where the sun don't shine."

• (Dixie Carter) "I guess I'm excited about seeing Mother again, visiting a totally new country. Of course, seeing Japan with Mother will be seeing the real Japan."
• (Delta Burke) "Julia, I am just here to visit Mother and pick up a car. I do not want to have any cultural experiences. As for seeing the "real" Japan, I've noticed that whenever people start talking about seeing the "real" anything, what they're talking about, basically, is hanging around with poor people. Now, I say I don't hang around with poor people at home, why should I do it on vacation?"

Meshach Taylor as Anthony

• (Meshach Taylor) "Oh ALLISON."
• (Julia Duffy) "What?"
• (Meshach Taylor) "My ginger ale isn't bubbly anymore."
• (Meshach Taylor) "You know, you are obnoxious."
• (Julia Duffy) "I know -- I have OPD, it is NOT my fault."

• (Meshach Taylor) "Julia, excuse me for overhearing, but I just want to add my two cents."
• (Dixie Carter) "Oh please -- I just want to hear from EVERYONE on this topic. Call your friends."
• (Meshach Taylor) "No no, I was just going to say that you can't force yourself to start dating again if it isn't time. I know because there was a time where I wasn't interested in any romantic involvement at all. The whole idea didn't appeal to me, period -- no matter who approached me, I just wasn't interested."
• (Dixie Carter) "Really, Anthony. When was that?"
• (Meshach Taylor) "That was the day I entered prison."

Judith Ivey as Bonnie Jean 'B.J.' Poteet

• (Judith Ivey) "In Texas, we have what's called the "Bubba Factor," where everyone is nicknamed Bubba. Except Ross Perot -- they call him Mr. Bubba."

Jean Smart as Charlene

• (Jean Smart) "Now Julia, you sound overwrought."
• (Dixie Carter) "Yeah, well you're gonna think overwrought. If I miss my dinner with Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter because of this, you're going to pay and pay big. I'm going to find you and hunt you down like a dog. I'm talking about you running through the woods in the snow with blood hounds ripping your clothes off. And remember Charlene, I have your address. You'd be wise to ask yourself "Do I know where my baby is?""

• (Jean Smart) "I asked this Northern woman, "Where are ya'll from?" And she said, "I'm from a place where we don't end our sentences with prepositions." So I said, "Okay, where are ya'll from, bitch?""

Alice Ghostley as Bernice

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