Charmed Quotes

Charmed is a Drama; Fantasy; Supernatural fiction that was first aired in 1998 on The WB. Charmed stopped airing in 2006.

Charmed was on for 8 seasons and 178 episodes. It features Tim Truman, and Jay Gruska; J. Peter Robinson as composer. Charmed is executive produced by Constance M. Burge; Brad Kern; Aaron Spelling; E. Duke Vincent. Charmed is created by Constance M. Burge.

Each episode of Charmed is 40-45 minutes long. Charmed is produced by Spelling Television; Paramount Television and distributed by Worldvision Enterprises, Inc., Paramount Domestic Television, and CBS Television Distribution. Spinoffs for this show include Charmed: Season 9, and Charmed: Season 10.

Charmed Quotes

(Phoebe) "Go to hell."
(Cole) "We're already here."

(Paige) "So how exactly do I bless this thing?"
(Phoebe) "With your blood. Come on."
(Phoebe) "This'll just hurt a little."

(Phoebe) "Come on, you don't think we'll be 60 and still living together, sharing clothes and a cat."
(Piper) "Well now that you put it that way, no, I don't want to live with you anymore."

(Phoebe) "Notice anything different about me?"
(Piper) "Engagement ring. Notice it or wear coffee."

(Piper) "Leo, you're a nice guy, and I like you a lot, but let's face it, you're geographically undesirable."

(Jason Dean) "Do you like Chinese?"
(Jason Dean) "Food, not people."

(Phoebe) "Piper."
(Piper) "Don't you "Piper" me."

(Phoebe) "Ready to kick some ass -- sis?"

(Phoebe) "Stop hinting around and let him have your crab already."
(Piper) "Don't be disgusting."

(Piper) "Oh, please, please, somebody help me. The mean demon is dipping me into the water and it's really cold."

(Piper) "I dreamt an animated musical last night. Is that normal?"

(Leo Wyatt) "What is that? Is that a time portal? Is that what that is? What are you using it for?"
(Chris Perry) "I don't have to answer that."
(Leo Wyatt) "I thought you said you had nothing to hide."
(Chris Perry) "I don't have to answer that either."

(Cole) "Why would I ever not want to talk to you?"
(Phoebe) "I don't know, you know, just in case you thought I was a drunk or a lunatic, or a drunk lunatic."

(Piper) "He's so -- innocent. If only he had any idea what Mommy and Auntie Paige did today."
(Leo) "They turned a very bad man to a very big tree."

(Head Dwarf) "You know, you really ought to get yourself a prince, in case this ever happens again."
(Paige) "Uh, who are you?"
(Head Dwarf) "We'll send you the bill. Let's go, men."
(Dwarf) "Come on, guys, let's go."

(Paige) "Well, you wanted to live like us. Now you get to die like us."

(Cole) "You've got to hold my hand."
(Prue) "This already sucks."

(Paige) "Can someone please tell me how I got in a coffin?"
(Grams) "You were dead, dear. But bright side, at least now we have something in common."

(Darryl) "Oh, no creepy talk in the precinct. Will you just keep down the creepy talk."

(Phoebe) "I mean, you're not even showing yet -- except for your boobies."
(Piper) "I'm telling you, they are large and they are definitely in charge."

(Piper) "Why didn't you save her?"
(Leo) "I tried."
(Piper) "But you didn't. Why didn't they let you save her, too?"
(Leo) "The Elders? They couldn't. They don't have that kind of power."
(Piper) "Then what the hell good are they?"
(Leo) "It's okay to be angry."
(Piper) "I'm not angry. I am pissed off. Don't you understand? You healed the wrong sister. You saved me because I'm your damn wife, and you should've saved her because she was the best. Because she, you should."
(Piper) "Why do they put us through so much for it to end this way?"

(Piper) "I mean, why would a demon be interested in killing people's dreams? They're harmless, erotic fun."
(Paige) "Did you say 'erotic'?"
(Piper) "Exotic. I said exotic."

(Piper) "Tell me the truth. Do you think I'm pushing it too far with the wedding?"
(Prue) "Okay, why is Phoebe going to school without her books?"
(Piper) "Okay, why is Prue not answering Piper's question?"

(Leo) "Because nobody knows where it is. Its location has been kept secret even from the Elders."
(Paige) "Where was their infinite wisdom on the day that was decided?"

(Witch Doctor) "It's only a matter of time before they destroy themselves."
(Paige) "Talk about premature jubilation. You, gentlemen might want to see a doctor about that."

(Phoebe) "You came all the way over here for me, I mean we, I mean us?"

(Chris) "Where is Paige?"
(Phoebe) "She's at her new temp job."
(Chris) "She's still on that kick?"
(Piper) "It's not a kick, Chris. It's her quest for happiness outside of magic."
(Chris) "Yeah, but it's a temp job. Who finds happiness in a temp job?"

(Leo) "Give daddy back his powers now."

(Paige) "Oh, gross. What are you guys watching? Is that some horror movie?"
(Piper) "No, it's The Joys of Home Birthing. Strangely I'm not feeling the joy."

(Piper) "Now she's Martha Stewart."

(Piper) "Look, I know I didn't call to confirm, but I was busy creating life, okay?"

(Leo) "You know, you're a pretty good whitelighter."
(Paige) "Well, I learned from the best."

(Leo) "Ladies, death cannot be feared. For death, in time, comes to all witches. You know, the witch who says she's not scared in battle is a liar. The real witch is the one who fights."
(Piper) "Honey?"
(Leo) "Yeah?"
(Piper) "Zip it."

(Piper) "I didn't have to resort to maternity clothes. Everything is so bright and cheery and ruffly."

(Phoebe) "Can you do anything about this thunder? 'Cause it's making me nuts."
(The Seer) "I have no sway over the weather. I do have a friend who works with the wind, but she's out of town."

(Piper) "Leo, I have growing powers inside of me. Powers that I don't understand, and the only person who does understand them never has time to talk. Add that to raging hormones and I guarantee you I am absolutely entitled to do the 'crying thing'."

(Witch Doctor) "How may I be of service?"
(Paige) "Are you a witch doctor?"
(Witch Doctor) "Let me guess. You were expecting someone with a bone through the nose and shrunken head necklace, perhaps?"
(Phoebe) "Yeah, actually. Yeah. Yeah."

(Piper) "Phoebe's pregnant."
(Leo) "What, huh, really?"

(Phoebe) "Wanna take a wiccan time out and do the crossword puzzle?"

(Piper) "I'm not pregnant. Trust me."
(Prue) "Well, that's good news."
(Phoebe) "Are you kidding? That's great news. You can live."

(Phoebe) "Okay we theme, you potion."
(Piper) "Me peeved, you annoying."

(Leo) "Piper, he's gonna kill me when he finds out."
(Piper) "Don't be ridiculous, you're already dead."

(Phoebe) "Last night two guys held up a bar and a vigilante killed them."
(Paige) "Sounds more like you need an arrest warrant, not a potion."
(Phoebe) "Not when the vigilante is tall, dark and handsome and can send people flying with the wave of a hand."
(Piper) "Well, that doesn't mean it's Cole."
(Phoebe) "Did I forget to mention the scorch marks?"
(Piper) "See, that means it's Cole."

(Piper) "Wasn't there a confidence spell in the book?"
(Phoebe) "Yeah, remember we cast it on that waiter at Quake?"
(Piper) "Wow. Quake. That was a long time ago."

(Piper) "How can you be so evil?"
(Cole) "It's a gift."

(Leo) "Dammit."
(Paige) "Are Elders even allowed to swear?"
(Leo) "No, but fathers are."

(Phoebe) "A little help here."
(Piper) "What are you doing with that thing?"
(Phoebe) "Well, first I'm gonna kill it and then I'm gonna stuff it."
(Piper) "You are not bringing that filthy fowl in the house."
(Phoebe) "Yes, I am. Thanksgiving's early this year."

(Phoebe) "Got milk? Oooh, don't think so."

(Cole) "Phoebe, I love you. I don't know what's going on but maybe I can help. Would you like me to kill someone for you?"

(Piper) "So your new-and-improved premonitions are just a more vivid way of telling us we're screwed?"

(Grams) "Piper blew up the wolf from inside. Although it took her long enough."
(Piper) "Hey, back off Grams, I just saved your ass."

(Tull) "Xavier? Where are you?"
(Piper) "You're stepping on him."

(Piper) "I think I know how to find the demon --"
(Piper) "-stration. Demonstration."
(Piper) "She knows what I'm talking about."

(Paige) "And you, you're not La Femme Nikita, you're a Charmed One. Yeah, you don't mind kicking ass when you have to, but otherwise you'd rather be hanging out with your sisters, baking cookies, or knitting booties."
(Piper) "Knitting booties? Clearly you don't know me at all."

(Lazarus Demon) "Go to hell."
(Piper) "I'm already there."

(Phoebe) "What do you think he wants?"
(Paige) "Our heads on a platter."

(Piper) "Geez, you're like my husband with boobs."

(Phoebe) "Okay, something really freaky happened last night when I was with Miles."
(Piper) "You guys are all ready getting freaky?"

(Piper) "Paige. There will be no talk of testicle-orbing in front of the baby."
(Leo) "Or his father."

(Piper) "You know, if I could freeze the two of you, I would, often."

(Phoebe) "We're not demon hunting. We're going to lunch."
(Chris) "Hey. I am not unreasonable. You can hunt demons after lunch."

(Chris) "I was just wondering how it went with the doctor."
(Piper) "Well, you'll be happy to know that you're a boy."
(Chris) "That's not what I meant."
(Paige) "I don't see it."
(Piper) "Oh, see, it's this little thing right here --"
(Chris) "Whoa."
(Chris) "Excuse me. Do you mind?"

(Piper) "Who would shoot a gnome? And why is the 'g' silent?"

(Prue) "Oh, I think someone needs a time out little missy."

(Phoebe) "What a cool power, I hate her."

(Phoebe) "I just want to know, am I in for another cold shower or not?"
(Piper) "You know Phoebe, there are times in our lives where a cold shower is a good thing."

(Phoebe) "Good people do not turn other people into water coolers."

(Phoebe) "28 minutes, 33 seconds."
(Piper) "Really? We ran that long?"
(Phoebe) "No, that's how long you've been comparing Leo and Dan."
(Piper) "I haven't been comparing; I've just been -- talking."
(Phoebe) "Non-stop."

(Paige) "Well guys, we better come up with a plan, because Lord Dyson is out there, getting stronger as we speak."
(Phoebe) "Thanks to Piper --"
(Piper) "ALLRIGHT."

(Piper) "I've come to the conclusion that if you've got it, then you must flaunt it."
(Phoebe) "That's my niece in that belly."
(Paige) "She's my niece, too."
(Phoebe) "Hi, niece. It's your favorite aunt, Phoebe."

(Phoebe) "I think I found the demon. Oh my god --"
(Paige) "What? You can't say "demons" followed by "oh my god"; I'm new at this, I'm likely to panic."

(Leo Wyatt) "I have to get back to the elders"
(Phoebe) "Well Chris is a whitelighter, can't he do it?"
(Piper) "Where is he?"
(Phoebe) "Upstairs with Paige."
(Piper) "And the book. Leo, go talk to the Elders, Pheobe keep an eye on our magical houseguests, I'm gonna go see what future boy is up to."

(Piper) "Phoebs, friendly little tip. Lay off the hairspray, there's a fire starter in the house."

(Paige) "My sweater shrunk."
(Piper) "Ah, come on. You've worn tighter things than that."

(Piper) "Cole, if you don't get me the hell outta here right now --"
(Cole) "You're the one that didn't want me to go easy on you."
(Piper) "Doesn't mean I wanted you to. Now get me out the damned wall."

(Paige) "We kick evil's ass every day."
(Piper) "Sometimes twice a day."

(Piper) "So, here's the deal. We'll spare your lives if you pull your skanky little power out of her."

(Cole) "I'm goin' straight to hell cause it's got to be a sin to look THIS good."

(Piper) "See what I mean? We have bigger, naked breasts to worry about."
(Phoebe) "Paige has her naked breasts to worry about and I've got yours."

(Phoebe) "I hope this doesn't mean we get our virginity back too."

(Leo) "Uh, Paige, where did you orb in from?"
(Paige) "I was dealing with some personal issues."
(Leo) "Well, I'm your whitelighter so if you ever want to talk --"
(Piper) "No."

(Phoebe) "I curse you, you curse me, let's get together and do a little cursing."

(Leo) "Hey, I'm not nauseous."
(Piper) "Hey, I am. Wait, that's not good news."

(Phoebe) "What are those?"
(Piper) "Slipcovers. To keep the furniture clean. Although I've come to the conclusion we should probably just stand from now on."

(Grams) "Oh, you must be Chris, the new whitelighter."
(Grams) "You know, he doesn't look very qualified for the job."

(Piper) "Life isn't a garden so stop being a hoe."

(Leo) "Did you find out anything?"
(Phoebe) "Besides having a twenty-four hour death wish? Nope."

(Kazi King) "How will we know if it worked?"
(The Crone) "Common sense."
(Kazi King) "Dare you mock me, Crone?"
(The Crone) "On occasion."

(Grams) "Have you been exercising your powers daily?"
(Piper) "Do I need to?"
(Grams) "Well, you know, if you don't want to lose control of them. Did you perform a ritual to promote growth?"
(Grams) "Did you cast a spell to ward off demonic parasites?"
(Grams) "Sweetheart, what did you do?"
(Leo) "We built a nursery in our bedroom closet."
(Grams) "No wonder this baby summoned me."

(Piper) "I'm gonna be happy when I vanquish your sorry ass."

(Paige) "I can't believe that they exist -- not that I should be surprised."

(Phoebe) "What's the celebration?"
(Paige) "I'm just so happy to be home, that's all."
(Piper) "You wanted to move out."
(Paige) "I did? God, no. Never. Well, I mean, you know, maybe when I'm married or pregnant or -- hopefully both at the same time. We're sisters. We shouldn't split up until we absolutely have to. You know that, right?"
(Piper) "She's rambling."
(Phoebe) "I hear that."

(Leo) "Well, I know from experience Darklighter poison doesn't kill immediately, so there's still a window of opportunity."

(Piper) "You got anything that would go with combat boots? You know, for the mommy-to-be who kicks some ass on occasion."

(Paige) "All of them had their eyes gouged out."
(Piper) "Ew."
(Leo) "Now the video doesn't seem so gruesome."
(Piper) "Ha. Speak for yourself."

(Phoebe) "Are you making spaghetti sauce?"
(Piper) "No, that's demon blood."

(Phoebe) "What about water birth? Can we do that at home?"
(Eve) "Sure, we can rent a tub."
(Piper) "What am I a dolphin? I'm not giving birth to fish."
(Leo) "Well, actually, dolphins aren't fish. They're mammals."
(Piper) "Shut up."

(Prue) "Cop, witch. It's not a love connection."
(Phoebe) "Boy, girl. Lighten up."

(Phoebe) "I was under a spell. Evil."
(Paige) "Evil? You were blonde."

(Piper) "Are you out of your mind, AGAIN?"

(Piper) "Aww I was such a cute baby."
(Leo) "Yea I know."
(Piper) "Leo, you're not even looking at the picture."
(Leo) "Well I've been watching you you're whole life."
(Piper) "Yea ok that's too creepy to think about."

(Piper) "Vanquish demon first, kill husband later."

(Cole) "I think Leo should orb me down to the Underworld. I may not be a demon anymore, but I still know the terrain."
(Phoebe) "And you may just find yourself in ever-lasting pain."
(Paige) "-- That was a rhyme."
(Phoebe) "I know; and now is not the time."

(Phoebe) "The wrong thing done for the right reason is still the wrong thing."

(Paige) "Do you think you could shift the gears? My boobs are in the way."

(Phoebe) "Lawyers. There should be a place in Hell for each and every one of them."

(Piper) "I'll play the bitch, you play the witch, ok?"

(Prue) "Where's Piper?"
(Leo) "Upstairs, recovering from what happened at the office."
(Prue) "Why? What happened?"
(Leo) "She -- sort of -- blew some of it up."

(Darryl) "Okay, where is this baby that everybody keeps talking about? Is it an invisible baby? Am I gonna step on it?"

(Leo) "Ok, ok, ok, just relax."
(Piper) "That's what I was trying to do and then somebody made me blow up my guru."

(Leo) "P3's still doing great."
(Piper) "Not as great as it used to be, thanks to me."
(Leo) "Well, Piper, you're having a baby. Your priorities have changed."
(Piper) "Yeah, well, haven't you heard? Women can have careers and babies now. It's been in all the papers."
(Leo) "Well, are those women trying to save the world from demons too?"

(Phoebe) "You're a monkey. Ooh, you're an angry monkey. Oh, you're pissed. You're- PMS monkey?"

(Piper) "Bad Prue. Very bad Prue."
(Piper) "Hi, Kujo, who you growling at?"

(Paige) "Is there something that we don't know -- that we should know -- you know?"

(Phoebe) "Cole, these boots may be made for walkin, but they're NEVER walkin' back to you buddy."

(Piper) "Phoebe, how many times have I told you not to play dress-up with the demons?"

(Phoebe) "I forgot your question."
(Piper) "I asked if Prue was going to have sex with someone other than herself this year."
(Phoebe) "That's disgusting. Please say yes."

(Leo) "It's your love that keeps me sane and whole and balanced"

(Piper) "Don't worry for I hold the power of -- one."

(Angel of Destiny) "We Angels of Destiny only intervene in extreme circumstances."
(Angel of Destiny) "Mozart age 7, Michelangelo, Albert Einstein"
(Angel of Destiny) "-- Britney Spears"

(Piper) "I'll just go make you some more coffee."
(Phoebe) "And I'll bring it to you."

(Andy) "Everything happens for a reason, remember, you told me that, Prue."

(Phoebe) "You know what? You're a turkey. And turkeys don't write columns."
(Phoebe) "But they do make delicious dinners."

(Piper) "So why is Sir Lust-A-Lot after you?"
(Paige) "How should I know?"
(Piper) "Well, because it's your damn fairy tale and it's alive and frozen in our kitchen."

(Piper) "Pheobe, why would you even leave her alone with it?"
(Phoebe) "Well, because she's our sister."
(Piper) "Not for long."

(Phoebe) "I'll do what I should've done a while ago which is vanquish your sorry ass."

(Piper) "Mm-hmm. Your destiny still awaits, she says. There's a reason for everything she says. So, now it's time to summon her transparent butt back and ask exactly what that reason is."

(Leo) "-- plus ours will be doubly magical; half Whitelighter. Half witch."
(Paige) "Hey, that's like me. Oh. You might have some problems."

(Paige) "I can understand wanting to take a break from guys but, come on -- she's gonna run out the batteries."
(Piper) "Aw, Paige."
(Paige) "What?"
(Paige) "Hello? Oh, hey, Phoebe. We were just talking about you."
(Piper) "And your batteries."

(Piper) "Where's my baby?"
(Leo) "Over here."
(Paige) "Oh, my God."
(Piper) "Oh, my God."
(Leo) "Oh, my God."
(Slappy) "Oh, that doesn't sound good."

(Paige) "They're dicks."
(Kyle Brody) "Dicks."
(Paige) "No, like private eyes. Detectives. Don't you see? They wrote themselves in as the heroes of their own books. Like Sam Spade or Philip Marlowe."

(Leo) "Damn it, Paige. I would appreciate it if you didn't practice on me. I may be dead, but it still hurts."

(Piper) "Are you going to help or are you just going to ramble?"
(Paige) "I'm just going to ramble."

(Phoebe) "Drake? Are you okay?"
(Drake Robin) "Drake? Who's Drake? I'm Robin Hood -- of Nottingham."

(Paige) "What just happened?"
(Piper) "The freaking furniture just attacked us."

(Prue) "I hate to be the detail police."

(Phoebe) "Oh, I'm making soup for Cole, he'll eat it in a bowl, I guess that's my new role, making soup for Cole."

(Cole) "Did you get my flowers?"
(Phoebe) "Yeah. "Sorry I tried to strangle you" Probably not a card the florist gets to write everyday."

(Leo) "You wanted a normal life, remember?"
(Piper) "Look, that was before I realized our son was going to be humiliated in front of his entire class."
(Billie Jenkins) "Happened to me all the time. Only made me stronger."
(Piper) "And shut it."

(Cole) "Don't you think you're being a little paranoid?"
(Phoebe) "With my demon ex-husband from hell?"

(Phoebe) "Anyone got a vanquish in their pocket"

(Paige) "Stop yelling at death."

(Phoebe) "Piper, just so you know, I may have to flee the country, but just for a little while. And I will call you, okay."
(Piper) "Oh, no you don't, Missy. There will be no fleeing the country until you clean up after yourself."
(Phoebe) "No-no-no-no-no, I'm sorry, I can't. I'm possessed."
(Piper) "That is not an excuse."

(Phoebe) "It's just research for that stupid article Jason made me do."
(Piper) "Ah, you said his name without swearing. Does that mean things are going better at work?"
(Phoebe) "Oh, no. He's still driving me crazy."
(Piper) "Didn't he just give you a raise?"
(Phoebe) "Yeah, but that was just a bribe so I wouldn't quit."
(Piper) "Ah, a woman of principles. I admire that."

(Drake Robin) "Ah -- you do not want to go in there."

(Paige) "I like an element of danger."

(Leo) "Being with her broke the rules. Not being with her breaks my heart."

(Paige) "You call that a rah, rah speech? You are supposed to be cheering her up, not pushing her off the edge."

(Piper) "Oh, no. Am I dead again?"

(Leo Wyatt) "Now that I'm a mortal, I'm going to fight for you and let the best man win."

(Piper) "I think my half whitelighter baby thought fireworks would be prettier than demon guts."

(Phoebe) "Okay, Piper. As much as we would love to hear about your man problems, we have a possible demon to vanquish."

(Prue) "I mean, well, you are a warlock magnet."

(Piper) "What are you doing?"
(Chris Perry) "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm trying to find a way to free stone cold Paige over there"
(Piper) "Step away from the book."
(Chris Perry) "Oh, please. Like I haven't looked in this thing before? By the way, you should update you're goblins entry. It'll come in handy someday."
(Piper) "Goblins?"
(Chris Perry) "Yeah. It's gonna get ugly. Trust me. Look, I know you have no reason to trust me, but the book thinks I'm good, shouldn't you?"
(Piper) "Well, maybe you found a way around it."

(Piper) "You knew about this supernatural Jenny Jones reunion, didn't you?"

(Prue) "What is he again?"
(Phoebe) "He's a Whitelighter. You know, kinda like Peter Pan and Tinkerbell without the wings and the tutu."

(Piper) "You don't really seem like yourself."
(Paige) "I don't? Then, who am I?"

(Phoebe) "He's soul-searching -- or off searching for a soul."

(Piper) "Apparently the baby here prefers Mommy to be indestructible."

(Phoebe) "Go away horny tom cats."

(Piper) "Ah."
(Phoebe) "What?"
(Piper) "Oh, my God. You two could scare the hair off a cat. No demons dare drop by here."

(Prue) "Here's to Leo for saving me from eternal torment."
(Piper) "And to me for not trying to be the perfect couple, if it isn't good enough for them, then screw them."

(Tracer Demon) "Would Freud have a field day with this or what?"

(Phoebe) "You have really got to lay off the rhyming, Prue"

(Piper) "All right, that's it. Break it up. You go back to your corner and you, you're gonna get ready and we're gonna put lots and lots of makeup on you."

(Cole) "What? I -- I knocked."

(Leo Wyatt) "Now you know why we don't summon her more often."

(Leo Wyatt) "Look, Piper, no matter what happens --"
(Piper) "No --"
(Leo Wyatt) "You have to keep trying to make contact."
(Piper) "I don't want him to hear it --"
(Leo Wyatt) "He's not after you, he's after me."
(Piper) "Would you please stop trying to save me."
(Leo Wyatt) "I'm sorry I got you into this."
(Piper) "Yeah, just one ordeal after another, right?"
(Leo Wyatt) "I've never stopped loving you."

(Phoebe) "I mean, between you and Leo, and Prue, the new Hot Wicca Woman, and me, soon to be employed, things are looking up."
(Piper) "Don't say that. The moment someone says that, everything always goes south."
(Phoebe) "Unless you freeze him. Oh, I couldn't help it. It was so good."
(Prue) "Okay, okay, come on, we're going, you're going to borrow the car."
(Leo) "Good morning."
(Phoebe) "Yeah, we heard."

(Prue) "What are you doing?"
(Piper) "I think you've got fleas."
(Prue) "You know what? That's so not funny because I think I do."

(Grams) "You and Paige moved out? When?"
(Phoebe) "Uh, a few weeks ago. But we're handling everything."
(Grams) "Dear, you have Paige stuck in the past and a demonic blob roaming the manor. Exactly how are you handling things?"

(Phoebe) "We could sure use some cosmic help right about now."

(Leo) "Piper, I need you to help me find Paige."
(Piper) "I'm not talking to her until she cleans up her room."

(Leo) "Phoebe, you cant be the Queen of the Underworld and a charmed one."

(Piper) "Everyone's treating me so differently. I'm still me. There's just a whole lot more of me going on."
(Paige) "Hey, guys. Oh, I'm sorry. Were you ranting?"
(Piper) "Yes, I was, but I'm done now. Thank you."

(Leo) "What are you doing?"
(Piper) "I'm replacing the roof. It was just too dirty."

(Piper) "Paige. Is everything okay?"
(Paige) "Better than okay. I'm going to have a love life."
(Phoebe) "You're making a love potion?"
(Paige) "No, I'm making a stun potion."
(Piper) "So that lovers will be stunned by you?"
(Paige) "No, so that Kazis will be stunned by me."
(Phoebe) "You're in love with a Kazi demon?"
(Paige) "Try to stay with me, people."

(Cole) "Put it down. Gently."
(Adam) "I can't. The witch'll kill me."
(Cole) "So will I. You don't wanna hurt her. (Adam throws the pumpkin and Cole freezes it. He walks over and picks it up.) Oh, what am I gonna do with you? (He unfreezes Adam and punches him in the face.) Keep your hands off my pumpkin."

(Phoebe) "Hey. We've had this discussion. You're not allowed to use your active power on me, until I have an active power to use on you."

(Leo) "Witch doctors are kind of a wild card. That's why the elders don't want us working with them."
(Piper) "Well, sometimes we don't want to work with the elders. So we're even."

(Piper) "I don't need to take a deep breath. I need to find my husband."

(Piper) "Wow, you really know your stuff."
(Paige) "Well, I learned from the best. I learned from you."
(Piper) "Thank you, Whitney Houston. Do I sock you in the face now?"

(Phoebe) "So, we get to go back there? And we get to meet our grandfather?"
(Grams) "Don't make too much out of it, because whatever you do, you can't change the past or tell anyone you're from the future."
(Phoebe) "Well, why does he get to?"
(Chris) "Because I know what I'm doing."
(Grams) "Not from where I'm standing."

(Prue) "Yeah, well, rules are meant to be broken."
(Phoebe) "Yeah, but bodies weren't."
(Piper) "And neither were hearts."

(Cole) "You're pregnant?"
(Piper) "I was, but now I think Leo is."

(Leo) "The spell, Piper, you need to reverse it. Fast."
(Piper) "I'm not sure I can."
(Paige) "Then you'd better make us disappear 'cause this one's gonna be tough to explain."

(Paige) "Power. Power's good. I like power. Why do I like power?"

(Piper) "Oh, you know what? She's getting angry. And our powers don't work so good when we're angry."
(Unnamed) "We've got them now."
(Piper) "Yeah, you've got us now so why don't you blow us up?"
(Phoebe) "Piper, death bad, life good."
(Paige) "Don't worry, this bimbo couldn't hit the broadside of a beauty parlour. Check out that dye job."
(Unnamed) "How dare you."
(Piper) "Run."

(Grams) "You need guidance, some advice on a certain sister situation. Am I getting warm?"
(Phoebe) "Red hot. But wait a minute, if you know, that means that they know, and if they know then we are f --"
(Grams) "Fine."

(Piper) "Oh, you know what? She's getting angry. And our powers don't work so good when we're angry."
(Mitzy Stillman) "We've got them now."
(Piper) "Yeah, you've got us now so why don't you blow us up?"
(Phoebe) "Piper, death bad, life good."
(Paige) "Don't worry, this bimbo couldn't hit the broadside of a beauty parlour. Check out that dye job."
(Mabel Stillman) "How dare you."
(Piper) "Run."

(Piper) "Is that why you didn't want to go around the world in 80 orbs?"

(Piper) "So what do you say to an overbearing younger sister who's treating her pregnant older sister like a porcelain doll?"
(Phoebe) ""Thank you"?"
(Piper) "How about "Knock it off"?"
(Phoebe) "That's probably better advice."

(Piper) "You asked me to marry you, and I did. You wanted a family, and I gave you a son. And now you just want me to watch you walk away?"
(Leo) "Piper it's not that simple."
(Piper) "Then make it simple."

(Paige) "She's blown him up -- literally?"
(Phoebe) "Yeah, but you know Piper, she didn't mean anything by it."

(Cole) "We're hardly typical. I proposed to you under a hail of demon goo, and you accepted while I was bleeding to death."

(Paige) "We're preparing for the big home birth."
(Piper) "Home birth? You're nuts. I'd never agree to that. I wouldn't give birth unless it was in --"
(Paige) "A hospital. Yeah, yeah, you keep saying the same thing in any reality."

(Witch Doctor) "You sure these are good witches that live here?"
(Leo) "The best. Although one of them is going to go very evil on us if we don't get this room cleaned up in a hurry. Believe me."
(Witch Doctor) "Is that a fact?"
(Leo) "Well, not literally."

(Wyatt Halliwell) "Is this Chris? He's so small. Is this before or after he swallowed that marble?"

(Chris) "In the future, everyone tried to control the demon with no name, but it can't be done."
(Grams) "That's hardly a winning attitude, young man. And why, in heaven's name, couldn't the people in the future find some name for that thing?"

(Paige) "Besides, everyone is odd in San Francisco. That's why we fit in so well."

(Phoebe) "I need your help."
(Cole) "You've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn."

(Piper) "What are we gonna do?"
(Leo) "What we always do."
(Piper) "Talk about it later."

(Paige) "Call me butter, 'cause I'm on a roll."

(Phoebe) "I think I did something really bad -- I slept with my boss."
(Piper) "Jason?"
(Phoebe) "No, Elise. Yes, Jason."

(Leo) "Where's Melody?"
(Paige) "Oh, she's gone."
(Leo) "Gone, as in she left?"
(Piper) "Gone as in she got sucked in to a big red ring by a warlock named what was it?"

(Piper) "Oh. You're assuming because I'm not tall, tattooed, or big-breasted that I'm not important. That's a bad assumption because I own this club, which makes me a V.V.V.I.P.""

(Bacarra) "I'm Bacarra, I've come here from the future."
(Cole) "-- Well, I can't say I've heard that before."

(Paige) "I'm telling you, he's gone for good."
(Phoebe) "Yeah -- that's what we thought last time."
(Piper) "And the time before that."

(Piper) "Kiss this bitch."

(Phoebe) "No I can still cast spells and do the power of three thing. Whatever the problem is it seems more natural than supernatural."
(Leo) "Phoebe why didn't you come to me, I'm your Whitelighter."
(Phoebe) "Because you've been busy."
(Leo) "I've been busy?"
(Phoebe) "Well I've been busy. My work schedule has been really hectic. But I'm coming to you guys now."
(Leo) "Ok you guys yell at her, and I'm gonna check with the Elders and see what they know."

(Phoebe) "Dead? What do you mean she's dead?"
(Leo) "Don't worry. The dwarves are all over it."
(Phoebe) "The dwarves?"
(Leo) "Piper cast a spell that wound up summoning the descendents of the seven dwarves. Actually, they prefer to be called little people now."

(Paige) "Well, I was sort of messing around with Dave --"
(Piper) "Messing around?"
(Paige) "Yeah, having sex."
(Piper) "Oh."
(Paige) "See, that's why I don't want to talk to you about this. It's weird talking to a pregnant lady about sex anyway."
(Piper) "Well, Paige, how do you think I got pregnant?"
(Paige) "Ugh, I don't want to know that either."

(Piper) "Yeah, like that doesn't have personal gain tattooed across its forehead."

(Piper) "Don't act blonde."

(Piper) "Phoebe, you're overreacting. That's my department."

(Paige) "No offense, but aren't you supposed to be dead?"
(Grams) "Oh, I'm over that."

(Paige) "We are not slobs."
(Piper) "Oh, really? How come I spent all night cleaning potion stains off of the ceiling?"
(Paige) "That's gazpacho, not potion."
(Piper) "Well, you know what? Blenders have lids."

(Paige) "I can't believe I destroyed the house."
(Phoebe) "What I can't believe is what you almost saw in the hotel room. If you had gotten there five minutes earlier --"
(Piper) "Lalala. Over sharing."

(Phoebe) "It's not every day you find out the person you love isn't human, except in Piper's case."

(Piper) "Yeah, next time get your own damn lipstick."
(Prue) "I heard that."
(Piper) "I love you."
(Prue) "Bite me."

(Leo) "As your whitelighter, I'd say go with your instincts."
(Paige) "Okay."
(Leo) "But as your brother-in-law, going up against your sisters would be pure suicide."
(Paige) "Great. You've really helped clarify this issue."

(Phoebe) "Hey. Don't call me sweetie. You can't imprison someone and then call them sweetie."

(Piper) "You stole our sacred book so you could perform magical plastic surgery on yourself?"

(Piper) "So what you're saying is, that whatever you're keeping from me is enough to piss me off but not put me in any danger. At the moment."

(Prue) "I came, I saw, I was perky."

(Piper) "OK -- let me handle Wyatt. This requires a mother's touch -- Wyatt Matthew Halliwell. You stop this nonsense right now."

(Piper) "Oh, no, don't tell me we got infected with the sin thingy."

(Piper) "Ugh. That tastes like ass -- phalt."

(Phoebe) "No time to dawdle, there's a baby on the way."
(Leo) "This is crazy. You can't leave like this."
(Paige) "We, very well can't ignore Chris's birth now can we?"
(Chris) "I'm the baby. I give you permission to."

(Paige) "He met some bimbette while climbing the Matterhorn."
(Piper) "At Disneyland?"
(Paige) "No, Switzerland."

(Leo) "Why am I standing in the ocean?"
(Piper) "Phoebe's a mermaid."
(Leo) "Oh, well, that would explain it."

(Drake Robin) "Don't worry, love will conquer all."

(Prue) "Hey, be nice. I don't even want to think about sin tonight."
(Phoebe) "Me neither."
(Prue) "So, this is an interesting band, what's their name?"
(Piper) "Orgy."

(Dan Gordon) "Don't you have another house to repair?"
(Leo Wyatt) "No."

(Phoebe) "AT&T;, Power of Three."

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