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Blackadder: Back and Forth Quotes

Blackadder: Back and Forth is a television show that was first aired in 1970 . Blackadder: Back &amp stopped airing in 1970.

It features Peter Bennett-Jones as producer, Howard Goodall in charge of musical score, and Tony Pierce-Roberts as head of cinematography.

Blackadder: Back and Forth is recorded in English and originally aired in United Kingdom. Each episode of Blackadder: Back and Forth is 33 minutes long. Blackadder: Back and Forth is distributed by Sky (United Kingdom).

The cast includes: Stephen Fry as Blackadder, Colin Firth as William Shakespeare, Stephen Fry as Melchett, Hugh Laurie as George, Tim McInnerny as Darling, Rik Mayall as Robin Hood, Tony Robinson as Baldrick, and Miranda Richardson as Queen Elizabeth.

Blackadder: Back and Forth Quotes

Stephen Fry as Blackadder

  • (Stephen Fry) "May I present to you, the greatest breakthrough in travel since Sir Rodney Tricycle thought to himself, "I'm bored of walking. I think I'll invent something with three wheels and a bell, and name it after myself": the time machine."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Well Balders, this is a turn up for the books. It seems that you have built a working time machine and are therefore, rather surprisingly, the greatest genius the world has ever known."
  • (Tony Robinson) "Thank you very much, my lord."
  • (Stephen Fry) "You really are as thick as clotted cream, that's been left out by some clot, and now the clots are so clotted, you couldn't unclot them with an electric de-clotter, aren't you, Baldrick?"
  • (Stephen Fry) "Well done, Baldrick. I'm so pleased with, I'm going to give you a wage rise."
  • (Tony Robinson) "Thank you very much, my lord."
  • (Stephen Fry) "-- Well, perhaps not all year, but maybe something like a Christmas bonus."
  • (Stephen Fry) "-- Well, perhaps not actual money, but something else like a box of chocolates."
  • (Stephen Fry) "-- A chocolate."
  • (Stephen Fry) "-- After I've had a nibble of it myself."
  • (Stephen Fry) "That is for every schoolboy and schoolgirl for the next 400 years. Have you any idea how much suffering you're going to cause? Hours spent at school desks trying to find one joke in "A Midsummer's Night Dream", wearing stupid tights in school plays and saying things like, "What ho, my Lord," and, "Oh, look, here comes Othello talking total crap as usual.""
  • (Stephen Fry) "Just one question -- What makes you so great?"
  • (Rik Mayall) "'Cos I'm ME, man."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Hows it going?"
  • (Tony Robinson) "I'm 18 years old. I've just left nursery school."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Okie Dokie."
  • (Tony Robinson) "I'm 25. I'm back at nursery school."
  • (Tony Robinson) "Got it."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Very good."
  • (Tony Robinson) "I wish -- I wish I'd flushed the loo first."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Oh yes."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Let's get home Baldrick."
  • (Tony Robinson) "But we don't know where home is. We're doomed to float through time for all time. Oh woe is me."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Shut up Baldrick. Shut up. There is one final thing to push that may be our salvation."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Or not. Because it is in fact, a lollipop."
  • (Tony Robinson) "Raspberry flavoured my lord."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Oh god. I'm going to spend the rest of my life in a small wooden room with two toilets and the stupidest man in the world."
  • (Tony Robinson) "Wait my lord, do not despair. For I have a cunning plan."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Can I say I'm not optimistic Baldrick?"
  • (Tony Robinson) "To be quite frank my lord, neither am I. My family have never been very good at plans."
  • (Stephen Fry) "So. With suitably low expectations, what is your plan to get us home?"
  • (Stephen Fry) "That's another one of life's great mysteries solved: the dinosaurs were in fact wiped out -- by your pants."
  • (Stephen Fry) "I'm a very big fan Bill."
  • (Colin Firth) "Thank you."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Keep up the good work. King Lear -- very funny."
  • (Stephen Fry) "And THAT"
  • (Stephen Fry) "is for Ken Branagh's endless, four-hour version of Hamlet."
  • (Colin Firth) "Who's Ken Branagh?"
  • (Stephen Fry) "I'll tell him you said that, and I think he'll be rather hurt --"
  • (Stephen Fry) "Now these may not look much."
  • (Miranda Richardson) "They don't."
  • (Stephen Fry) "No, but -- umm -- umm -- well, well let's say -- let's say -- let's say that there was a place where you could buy absolutely everything."
  • (Stephen Fry) "We already have those Blackadder and they're called markets."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Right, right. Well, imagine that but times ten. As it were a "super" market."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Now if you gave someone at one of these "super" markets this -- he would give you some "bonus points". Which would mean that once a month you could buy a tin of baked beans at half the normal price."
  • (Miranda Richardson) "Kill him."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Sod off."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Last one in gets hacked to death by Rod Stewart's great-great-grandfather."

Miranda Richardson as Queen Elizabeth

  • (Miranda Richardson) "Go forth. And bring back more -- minty things."

Hugh Laurie as George

  • (Hugh Laurie) "This is as exciting as discovering that, due to an administrative error, the new boy in the dorm is actually a girl with a big chest, a sense of adventure and no pants."
  • (Hugh Laurie) "Well you certainly won the bet, Blackadder. Here's your 10,000 francs --"
  • (Stephen Fry) "What do you mean, "francs?""
  • (Hugh Laurie) "What do you mean "What do I mean, 'francs'?""
  • (Tim McInnerny) "We've been using francs for over 200 years."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Yes, ever since Wellington lost the battle of Waterloo."
  • (Hugh Laurie) "Great spirit of Jupiter. Our culture is centuries ahead of theirs. Why, we have toilets -- and wipe our bottoms with vinegar-soaked sponges."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Yes -- and they wipe their bottoms with Roman soldiers."

Tony Robinson as Baldrick

  • (Tony Robinson) "-- And the date should come up. But it doesn't because I was going to write the numbers on in felt-tip pen but never got around to it."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Right. So the date we're heading for is two watermelons and a bunch of cherries. In other words, we can't get home. Rather a spectacular return to form after the genius moment."
  • (Tony Robinson) "I followed Mr Da Vinci's instructions to the letter."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Even though you can't actually read."
  • (Tony Robinson) "No, but I have done a lot of Airfix models in my time."
  • (Tony Robinson) "You know how when you're drowning, and your life flashes in front of your eyes? Well, what I was thinking is that you could dunk your head in a bucket of water and if you held it down till just before you died, you could see how the levers were and get us home."
  • (Stephen Fry) "Excellent plan, Baldrick, with perhaps one slight modification --"
  • (Tony Robinson) "I'm 18, I've just left Nursery School. I'm 25, I'm back in Nursery School."

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